Aristotle the Alien

A tale of mischief, midges and chocolate scones by Angus Von Stulpnagel Jnr.


Once upon a time there was an alien called Aristotle the third. He was called ‘the third’ because he was quite mischievous and his parents had to have him dismantled and rebuilt twice. He was not a bad boy, even his big brother Rocky 7 was not bad; it is just that some aliens can rebuild their children if they need to, with a different mixture of mischief and common sense.

Aristotle and his family lived on Bardennoch Hill, and often went down to the Dalwhat Water, which is where his parents last decided to have him rebuilt. That was because he had eaten 50,000 midges before his tea, despite having been told a hundred times not to eat midges because they gave him a tummy ache.

Early one morning Aristotle and his family were down at the Dalwhat Water when his mum, Matilda the second (well no one is perfect) saw Aristotle raise his head, as if he was looking at a small cloud of midges. She took a step forward. Aristotle stood up and raised his head some more until his nose was high in the air. Matilda took another step forward. Then to Matilda’s surprise Aristotle turned and walked downstream towards Moniaive. Matilda, of course, turned and followed him. They walked right down the glen, over the Dunreggan bridge and stopped in the middle of the village, where Matilda suddenly realised what it was that had made Aristotle act so strange. There was the most wonderful smell of fresh baking. Aristotle went into the bakers shop and his huge green eyes almost popped out of his head. His funny alien nose started to twitch so fast it was nearly just a blur. Then his eyes fixed on a tray of chocolate scones. Aristotle had never seen chocolate scones in his life before, but knew they were good. The baker had never seen an alien before, but having lived in Moniaive for a good while was used to seeing all sorts of different people, and could tell Aristotle was a good little alien.

The baker was only too pleased to have Aristotle in his shop, and even gave him a sample of chocolate scone. There were all sorts of other buns, breads and cakes in the bakery (even some that looked as if they might contain midges &endash; but didn’t). Aristotle has however made up his mind at first sight and in no time at all, a regular order was placed.

“I don’t think Aristotle will give us any more trouble,” said his mum.

“What a relief!” said his father, Louis (the 14th!)

And they lived happily ever after.

The End